UNCLE ROY REALLY SEES HIS FIRST GAME

May 24, 1924

After another great meal at Roy's place last night, a corkball game in the street that was still going when it got dark and ended in a 31-31 tie, and hot flapjacks and bacon this morning, me and Benny decided we had to do something nice for our host. Roy had been a huge Cardinals fan since he was eight years old but still hadn't seen a game up close for a reason I don't have to tell you.

So Benny got the nifty idea to disguise him up so he could sit in the grandstand with us and nobody would be the wiser. Roy's wife came out with some bandages, gloves, and an old derby hat and we wrapped him from the top of the head right down to his neck. We left giant holes for his eyes and nose and mouth and his wife made sure to soak the bandages in cold water first because it was going to be another scorcher.

I waited with Roy in the Chrysler across the street in a lot while Benny was buying the tickets, and then we walked our friend up to the grandstand entrance. The ticket taker gave us a weird look along with every fan in the line, so I made sure to say real loud that poor Uncle Roy had been in a bad fire at his shoemaking factory and had burns over most of his body and that thinking about going to this game was the one thing he had to look forward to. The ticket guy almost cried.

We bought two extra lemonades but Roy sipped them both down by the end of the 1st inning so we bought him two more. Thankfully the seats were back in the roof shade between third and home or he might've collapsed. It was also a good thing we hadn't done this with Giggle Face or he might've given us away in no time.

Carlson pitched for us, and I'll tell you, he may be the best lousy pitcher around, because he always seems to go deep into a ballgame. Today was his masterpiece of horribleness. The Cards got hit after hit after hit off him but couldn't stick any of them together. Meantime the Phils took a cheap 3-0 lead on a passed ball past Vince Clemons in the 3rd and two walks and a single after Ray Blades botched a Wilson ball to death in the 4th. I guess it was good St. Louis was having no luck because it kept Roy from yelling things through his bandages, but he was sure doing a lot of whispering to me.

"Can't believe the size of Hornsby's arms," was his first thing, "He could knock a buffalo out with those." I had to remember colored folks had no way to see their favorite players up close around here unless they played right field. Roy also kept whispering about the fans around us and how polite and quiet they were and seemed to study the game "like it was grade school arithmetic."

Arithmetic sure wasn't helping the Cards, though. For the second straight game we got outhit by them and ended up winning. A Harper triple and Cy single in the 5th made it 5-0 to stay, and Carlson had a neat little 13-hit shutout. Roy didn't even care because he was having the time of his life. He even ate an entire grilled hot dog which we had to feed him through his bandage hole.

We almost had a little trouble before we left because Roy had to go empty out all his lemonade and he was worried about using the park's bathroom with those stupid gloves, meaning me and Benny had to take him in there surrounded by all these angry St. Louis fans and stand on both sides of him while he did what he needed to do. The second we got in Benny's car we helped him rip off the disguise and did nothing but laugh all the way back to his house. He shared a big bottle of cheap illegal wine with us which made us all groozy and put me to sleep in no time, and we forgot to talk about our long trip back to the East, which believe it or not starts after tomorrow's game. Guess we'll figure it out as we go again.

Good night, reader-people!
—Vinny

PHL 001 220 000 - 5 8 0
STL 000 000 000 - 0 13 2

Other National League games today:

at PIRATES 9-15-3, ROBINS 6-11-1
Yessiree, that's TEN straight wins for the crazy Buccos, who I think might be planning to throw the entire National League in the brig by Decoration Day. Burleigh Grimes is the latest great pitcher to get creamed by them, as Pittsburgh racks up nine extra-base hits to only one for Brooklyn, a Zack Wheat double in the 9th with the game already kapooted.

GIANTS 5-4-4, at REDS 3-8-3 (11 innings)
Meanwhile New York comes from behind to shock Cincy for the second straight day. It's a big slopfest, with five of the eight runs coming in by errors, including the extra inning winners when Bressler boots one and Hack Wilson doubles off Burns' glove and both runners end up scoring. Don't think those Over-the-Rhine boys are too happy right now.

at CUBS 4-10-2, BRAVES 3-9-1
But nobody's less happy than the 12 people who must be still following the Braves. Cooney has an actual 3-0 shutout going all the way to the 9th and the Cubs wake up with four runs off him and Skinny Graham to take the game and make Boston 1-14 on their trip.

NATIONAL LEAGUE through Saturday, May 24
Pittsburgh Pirates	26	10	.722	—
Cincinnati Reds	23	16	.590	4.5
Brooklyn Robins	20	17	.541	6.5
New York Giants	20	17	.541	6.5
St. Louis Cardinals	20	19	.513	7.5
Chicago Cubs	17	22	.436	10.5
Philadelphia Phillies	15	23	.395	12
Boston Braves	10	27	.270	16.5