By H.R. Smedley
Free-Enterprise Crimes and Misdemeanors Editor
July 29, 1924
Calvin Jedediah Butterworth, the mentally impaired Free-Enterprise base ball reporter who recently fled from his family and employment into the Vermont wilderness, only to be suspended yesterday by our publisher for a "flighty approach" to his writing duties, has been arrested by Detroit police for breaking into the Free-Enterprise printing room in the dead of night and sabotaging one of the press machines.
A night custodian discovered Mr. Butterworth in the printing room at approximately 3:30 a.m., hands stained with ink and wearing only his suspenders and straw hat after removing publisher Mellon's suspension announcement from the printing plate and replacing it with his own "light-headed" present tense game report.
"Behavior like this is a crime against this fine institution, each and every one of our readers, and the God-given freedom of press instilled in our American way of life," responded Mr. Mellon this morning, speaking to reporters outside the broken window pane through which Butterworth had climbed inside. "Anarchy and sabotage will not be tolerated, and I pray for this man's wife and children that they will survive his hopefully long imprisonment without excessive discomfort."
Mr. Butterworth is due to appear in court first thing tomorrow, and all indicators point to a swift, punitive response by the judge and jury. Spectators wishing to witness the proceedings first-hand should arrive at the entrance doors no later than 8 a.m.
TODAY'S AMERICAN LEAGUE BALL GAME REPORTS
By A.B. Quigley
Free-Enterprise Financial Page Editor
PHI 002 001 103 - 7 8 2
DET 111 010 000 - 4 8 1
Tigers are up by 2 points, Athletics down. Third inning sees Athletics back up by tieing the market at 2, then fall behind by 1. Tigers back up by 2, Athletics tie the market with two solitary digits, finally explode for 3 points on Ed Wells in the final sector and close at 3-plus.
SENATORS 4-12-4, at INDIANS 3-10-0
Cleveland braced for 4-game sweep when pitching staff crashes in 9th sector. Coveleski gives Nats 4 straight hits, Edwards chips in with walk and hit, Messenger allows winning long fly to Leibold in a pinch. Washington unleashes two gaffes prior to closing bell, still survives.
at WHITE SOX 4-5-0, YANKEES 3-8-1
Sad Sam Jones up 4 points with 1-hit allowed into 7th sector, tragically crashes as White Sox market explodes with 3 singles, 3 walks and 4 points from seemingly nowhere. New Yorkers anything but bullish in this quarter.
RED SOX 6-9-2, at BROWNS 4-7-1
Ehmke enjoys fruits of 6-point explosion on Wingard stock in 6th sector, St. Louis rebounds for dual 2-point rises, falls short of Boston at day's end.
|AMERICAN LEAGUE through Tuesday, July 29|
|Chicago White Sox||52||47||.520||14|
|New York Yankees||51||48||.515||15|
|St. Louis Browns||46||55||.455||21|
|Boston Red Sox||42||57||.424||24|