Mama's mustard plaster treatment worked a whole bunch of wonders, and I was up at nine to eat a full breakfast and make plans for another Baker Bowl afternoon. The Phils have been stinking something awful lately, and me and Benny were determined to see their losing streak end if we had to do it ourselves.
After my morning arithmetic class I smiled at Principal Tuggerheinz and left school to catch the streetcar. I met Benny outside the bleachers entrance at 12, and he was so excited to see me again that he bought me a wiener. Virgil Barnes was pitching for the Giants against our Jimmy Ring. Ring was 0-3 but Barnes had already lost twice to his brother Jesse on the Braves, so we knew he could be had.
We were too far away from the Giants dugout to yell at McGraw but we could see him in there, pacing around with his dinky body and throwing dirt pebbles he got off the top step. Brooklyn's been much better than his team so far, which must be making him cuckoo.
Well, the first inning made us cuckoo instead. Frisch singled to start the game, stole second base on Henline, got singled to third base by Groh, and Youngs walked. George Kelly, who usually bats in their cleanup spot, got knocked down to the 5th position, and Hack Wilson came up instead. He's a tough-looking hitter, but how's he ever going to amount to anything with a stupid first name like that?
"HEY HACK!" yelled Benny right away, "I LIKE YOUR NAME! BET YOU REALLY ARE ONE!" We knew there was no way he could hear us, but it made the fans around us laugh and got some people in the third base stands yelling at him, too, which then spread around home plate, kind of like what an ocean wave does. Hack took two strikes from Ring and we both yelled even louder. "GOTTA BE UP THERE HACKIN', HACK, YOU BUM!" Ring then gave him a pitch that we could tell right away was too good and Wilson clobbered the thing so deep and so far over our heads we lost sight of it in the bright sky. I think I saw the ball bounce up in the air on the street behind us but wasn't sure. Anyway, the grand slam made it 4-0 in the top of the 1st and made Benny nuts.
He got on Irish Meusel right away, who came out to play left field for them straight in front of us. He's the brother of Bob on the Yankees and isn't as good and his name is Irish, so of course he was easy pickings. "HEY O'MEUSEL!" yelled Benny, "HOW MANY WHISKIES DID YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?" He didn't even turn around, and when the Phillies scraped out a run on a bases-filled walk to Henline, Benny got even louder. "HEY O'MEUSEL! YEAH, YOU! THIS ONE'S BOUNCING OFF YOUR POTATO-HEAD, SO WATCH OUT!" It sure sounded good, but Benny forgot that Heinie Sand was up, and he grounded out weakly to end the inning.
Benny calmed down after that because his voice was almost gone, and because the Giants got two more runs in the 3rd and doubles from Youngs and Mr. Hack in the 4th to make it 7-1. Ring has had some bad luck for us, but today he was just a garbage-arm. He did double in a run, after which Harper sac flied another one to make it 7-3, but that was our last real batting burst.
The only good thing was that Irish got no hits in five times up and ruined a rally in the 7th with a double play ball. Benny came back to life when he took the field after that, yelling stuff about his washerwoman mother and asking how it felt to be the lousier brother but Meusel didn't even flinch. I guess they're trained not to do that, otherwise there would be fights with fans every day.
So that's seven straight losses for us, and we're getting a little too comfy down in the National cellar if you ask me. All I know is I want to be there the next time they win, because it's going to be as sweet as Mama's best cannoli. Good night, reader-people!
—Vinny
NYG 402 100 000 - 7 12 1
PHL 100 200 010 -4 7 1
Other National League games today:
at ROBINS 2-7-0, BRAVES 1-3-0
How anybody ever beats Dazzy Vance is a mystery to me. The Braves give it a good try at Ebbets by tieing the game in the 4th, but Fournier whacks a two-out double in the 8th for his fifth winning hit of the year already. I better write Rachel another letter soon before she proposes marriage to this guy.
at PIRATES 4-10-3, CUBS 3-8-0
Morrison has a 4-0 lead here but then his defense starts making errors and the Cubs almost take the game. Babe Adams saves a win for the third time and the Bucs stay close to Brooklyn.
REDS 17-22-1, at CARDINALS 4-10-3
Yikes. Rube Benton starts instead of injured Carl Mays and Cincy doesn't miss one beat, punching out the Cards' lights with 11 runs in the last three innings. Hornsby gets two more hits but no one at Sportsman's Park probably notices.
| NATIONAL LEAGUE through Tuesday, May 6 | ||||
| Brooklyn Robins | 14 | 7 | .667 | — |
| Pittsburgh Pirates | 12 | 8 | .600 | 1.5 |
| Cincinnati Reds | 12 | 9 | .571 | 2 |
| New York Giants | 12 | 9 | .571 | 2 |
| St. Louis Cardinals | 10 | 11 | .476 | 4 |
| Boston Braves | 8 | 13 | .381 | 6 |
| Chicago Cubs | 8 | 14 | .364 | 6.5 |
| Philadelphia Phillies | 7 | 14 | .333 | 7 |
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