AWKWARD MOMENTS ON A BROILING DAY

RECENTLY, IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE: Bottomley knocks in
five as Cards manhandle Phils again...Benny swoons for Miss Philadelphia...Benny lands date with Miss Philadelphia...Benny scares off Miss Philadelphia...Vinny goes back to school for final two weeks,
sort of...

June 5, 1924

Today was the easiest time I ever had sneaking out of the lunch room, because Principal Tuggerheinz was out sick and Mrs. Crackerbee was too busy making sure the kids were cleaning up their tables. It was about 95 degrees by the time I passed Hecky's Newsstand on the way to the streetcar, and I knew I'd have to talk Benny out of sitting in the bleachers again.

Lucky for us he listened, because this game was almost two hours long and you can only drink so much lemonade, as we found out in St. Louis on our recent road trip. Rhem and Carlson were matched up in a good one so no one was scoring much, but there were runners on base all the time and with the scorchy weather pitchers were being real careful not to throw home run balls.

Cy Williams got us going with a triple that banged off the right field wall and bounced past Jack Smith in right, scoring Harper. It stayed 1-0 until the 4th, when Blades singled, Hornsby walked and who else but Bottomley singled in the tieing run.

Rhem dished out three walks in our 7th, and with two outs Holke whistled a single into right to put us up 3-1. I jumped and cheered and ran off to find us two more lemonades. The lemonade guy ran out of them right as I reached him in one of the big aisles, though. He said he'd be right back with more so I stood there in the grandstand shade and fanned myself with a program.

It was then that I turned and saw Principal Tuggerheinz standing in front of me!! I was in shock and wanted to run for cover, but the weird thing was that his face was redder than mine. And then I saw why. A dolled-up young lady who was not much older than Brooklyn Rachel had her hand through his arm. Now I know for a fact that Tuggerheinz has been married for over 20 years and his wife helps out at school functions all the time, and here he was looking pretty darn embarrassed with this floozy.

I said hello and started to walk past but he pulled me aside and whispered, "We will keep our secrets, young Spanelli. Correct?" I nodded and started back to my seat with my heart pounding. Benny was mad that the lemonades were "sold out" and then double mad because the Cards had just tied the game with four straight singles off Carlson and reliever Betts.

I had promised Mr. Tuggerheinz I wouldn't tell a soul about his mistress, but I've known Benny longer than him, so that plan didn't last long. Benny was thrilled about it and said I wouldn't have a problem leaving school early the rest of the year.

So I put my brain back on the game, which happened to be a great one that was going into extra innings with Stuart and Betts on the hill. Hornsby had his usual two hits but completely stunk in the field, booting two balls and not turning double plays a few times. I guess when you're hitting about .460 you can do those things, but when he started the St. Louis 10th with a weak ground out, we all got a shot of hope.

The problem was that Jim Bottomley was stepping up, already with two singles. Right away he creamed a Betts fastball high and deep to center. Cy ran up on the little hill over the underground train tracks but the ball was well over his head and over the center field wall! "Sunny Jim" had clouded up our day again, and after Fowler got us out in the last of the 10th with the help of a big Cy double play grounder to Toporcer, we'd lost the first three to the Cards.

Anyway, it'll be tough to keep my mouth shut about Mr. Tuggerheinz in school tomorrow, but if I can I'm pretty sure I'll have a straight-A report card coming. Good night, reader-people!
—Vinny

STL 000 100 020 1 - 4 11 3
PHL 100 000 200 0 - 3 7 0

Other National League game today:

PIRATES 10-19-2, at ROBINS 7-10-0
Well, so much for Dazzy Vance taking care of the Pirates. He got roughed up out in Pittsburgh and this time the Robins give him a 3-0 lead in the 2nd, knocking out tough Bucs catcher Earl Smith in the process. What does Dazzy do? He gets dizzy, giving up 13 hits and eight runs in the next three and a third innings, as the Pittsburgh lineup absolutely destroys the most unhittable pitcher in either league. Fill-in catcher Schmidt even knocks in the winning run! Fournier charms a few of the home fans with his 13th and 14th homers late in the game off Kremer, but the slaughter is over already.

CUBS 14-16-0, at GIANTS 1-7-3
Not as shocking a result, and like the Brooklyn game it's a happy one for Pirate fans. Pete Alexander puts the lead man on base in seven of the nine innings but gets out of every single bind, while his hitters are busy murdering four Giant pitchers. It must be National Backup Catcher Day, because after Hartnett goes out with an injury, Bob O'Farrell replaces him and bashes a 3-run homer in the 3rd to launch the big attack.

REDS 3-10-2, at BRAVES 2-7-1
The only "normal" game all day, as the Cuban team of Luque and Dibut shut down the feeble Braves and the Reds climb back into second place. Down 2-1 in the 6th to Cooney, Edd Roush ties the game with a triple and Bubbles Hargrave wins it with a deep fly.

NATIONAL LEAGUE through Thursday, June 5
Pittsburgh Pirates	30	16	.652	—
Cincinnati Reds	30	20	.600	2
New York Giants	28	19	.596	2.5
St. Louis Cardinals	28	23	.549	4.5
Brooklyn Robins	23	23	.500	7
Chicago Cubs	22	27	.449	9.5
Philadelphia Phillies	20	29	.408	11.5
Boston Braves	12	36	.250	19