I WASH MY HANDS OF THIS EXCREMENT

TIGERS SLIDE INTO FOURTH PLACE HOG PEN WITH RANK DEFEAT

By Calvin J. Butterworth
Detroit Free-Enterprise

July 18, 1924

BOSTON—With a grand chance to redeem yesterday's tragedy dropped in their laps, our foolish gang of athletic jesters proceeded to flub away a certain win in a manner that was fouler than a farmer's back yard.

The often unreliable Ed Wells was staked to a 5-0 cushion after two innings, with Cobb and Heilman each knocking in two off Fullerton. It was 5-1 Detroit in the last of the 4th when Joe Heving, who replaced Picinich at catcher earlier, tripled with one out. Ezzell grounded right back to Wells, who gunned down Heving trying to score from third. Wambsganss then singled, and pitcher Fulletron popped a lazy fly out to Cobb. The great and wonderful Tyrus dropped it, and two were aboard. Geygan and Harris followed with singles, Pratt booted another ball at third, Flagstead doubled, and the Red Sox had five unearned runs and a 6-5 lead.

As is so too often the case with this unit, the Tiger offense then dropped dead, while Boston pecked away with single runs in the 6th, 7th, and 8th. Cobb's next three at bats came with men aboard, and he grounded out each time, once into a killing double play.

Watching this ungodly spectacle unfold, it became apparent to me that I can no longer write daily reports on this dreadful, dreadful team. Cobb is futilely piloting a sinking barge without heads or hearts, one that recently proved in Washington it is not ready to compete for a league crown. In short, this is a wildly inconsistent amalgamation of ninnies, and they would be better served if they performed in a newsless realm where one would not be subjected to their daily pitiful ways.

Cobb can crack open my skull if he wishes, and the newspaper can excuse me without pay. I do not care. When the sun rises tomorrow I will be sailing on the Charles in a rented canoe, or hiking in the mountains of New Hampshire, or sipping a glass of absinthe en route to a long-sought reunion with my lovely wife. But I will not be watching the Detroit Tigers attempt to play baseball.

DET 230 000 010 - 6 10 4
BOS 001 501 11x - 9 12 0

Other American League games today:

at SENATORS 8-8-0, BROWNS 3-9-2
They fall out of bed each and every day, have their eggs and muffin and coffee, then go to work and win. Zachary is now 12-4 on the year, and the Nats are 12-4 in July. Somehow the Browns manage to outhit them and still lose by five runs. Nemo Leibold is the culprit this time, notching a triple and double in the leadoff spot and sparking two early rallies.

at YANKEES 5-12-1, INDIANS 4-11-1 (10 innings)
A massive gaffe by McNulty brings the Yanks back from a 2-0 deficit with three runs in the 4th. Gaston replaces an injured Joe Bush and pitches supremely, as New York falls behind 4-3, ties the game with an Aaron Ward double in the 8th, then wins it on a Schang single past Fewster in the last of the 10th off Sherry Smith. I search for a contribution by Ruth in the box score, and strangely enough, find none.

WHITE SOX 4-7-0, at ATHLETICS 2-6-1
As Cobb did for us, Al Simmons does for Philadelphia, dropping an easy fly with two outs in the 3rd to keep an inning going. One pitch later, Mostil bangs a 3-run homer off Sam Gray and the game is gone. Red Faber is now 12-6, the only Chicago hurler other than Thurston one can usually rely upon.

AMERICAN LEAGUE through Friday, July 18
Washington Senators	61	30	.670	—
Chicago White Sox	48	42	.533	12.5
New York Yankees	47	42	.528	13
Detroit Tigers	49	44	.527	13
St. Louis Browns	42	49	.462	19
Philadelphia Athletics	40	52	.435	21.5
Cleveland Indians	39	53	.424	22.5
Boston Red Sox	38	52	.422	22.5